5th in a series Six L's of Caring and Coping Keep Friends and Family in the Loop By Dave Balch, Founder of The Patient/Partner Project Note: Dave was caregiver for his wife during her successful nine-month battle with breast cancer; now he is on a full-time, personal mission to help other patients by helping their partners. This series of articles outlines some of the tools and techniques that helped them get through their ordeal together. As caregiver, one of the most difficult things for me was keeping everyone informed about my wife's progress. We would come home from a grueling day of medical appointments or tests to sometimes find as many as 14 messages on our answering machine from well-meaning people that truly cared, who wanted to know "How is she feeling?" or "What did the doctor say?" or "What's next?" The last thing I felt like doing was returning all of those calls, telling the same stories and answering the same questions over and over again. I had too much to do as it was! And, on top of that, was all of the things that go with returning calls: "telephone tag," toll charges, time-zone differences... ahhhhhh! I can feel the stress building just writing about it! On the other hand, it was important to keep these people updated on her progress because they really cared and certainly didn't mean to cause us more stress. What to do? The answer can be summed-up in a single word: email. Being basically a computer geek, I created an email list of all of our friends and family and sent them progress reports once a week or so. The phone calls stopped immediately: it was terrific! Then, I posted the reports on my personal web site so that people could "catch up" if they were added to the list after the fact. It was easy for me and everyone loved it because they felt like they were "in the loop." The main point here is this: in order to reduce your stress, find a way to keep everyone informed without spending a lot of time on the phone. You save time and energy, both of which are probably in short supply anyway, and you can keep many more people informed than by doing it manually. The Patient/Partner Project provides just such a service for those who cannot create their own email list or post to their own website. It is called "Private Online Progress Reporting" and it is provided free of charge. Here's how it works: you can create a private email list and then post progress reports. Each time you post a report, the system automatically sends an email to everyone on your list inviting them to come to the site to read what you've written. It is completely private and secure: no one can read your reports unless they already know the unique ID that you created. Plus, messages are archived for easy reference by any of your visitors, and people can add themselves to the notification list as long as they know your unique ID. This way you don't even have to add folks to the list when they find out about it. It's good for you because you don't have to worry about time zones, toll charges, or telephone tag. You can post reports any time of the day or night, and you don't even have to worry about adding people to your list because they can do it themselves. In fact, you can ask someone to do all of this for you and then you only have to tell one person and not worry about it at all! It's good for your family and friends because they will feel included without feeling like they are bothering you by asking, and many more people can be informed than by any other means. We have several users that have over 90 people on their private lists!! You can find us at www.ThePatientPartnerProject.org Whether you use The Patient/Partner Project or do it some other way, take a load off yourself and find a better way to keep everyone informed. You'll be so glad you did. ------------------------- Dave Balch founded The Patient/Partner Project, which is focused on helping other patients by helping their partners. Visit www.ThePatientPartnerProject.org for Internet resources and services for patients and partners, including free online progress reporting for family and friends and a free email mini-course of "Six L's of Caring and Coping." You can contact Dave at Dave@ThePPP.org or toll-free at 1-8-MORAL SUPPORT (1-866-725-7877) (c) 2004, Dave Balch. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.